The Doctor Is In



Demonica: it's good to see you. i'm Demonica.

Guest: Mm I'm akuma

Demonica: my life was full of loneliness, sorrow, and heartbreak. know that i love and care about you...

Guest: Why was that

Demonica: it's something you've known all along to be true.

Guest: What

Demonica: *she gently takes your hand into hers and looks at your palm, lightly running her finger along the lines* you've been though a lot... *softly stroking your hand, she looks into your eyes tenderly* why don't you tell me about it? you'll feel better if you do...


Demonica: i had a feeling i'd meet someone important tonight. this is a good omen...

Guest: Me?

Demonica: i'll take away your pain and sorrow and introduce you to the pleasures of the night.

Guest: Can I have your pussy

Demonica: my pussy?! jinx! *jinx, the demon black cat sitting on her lap, transforms into a huge black leopard with glowing yellow eyes, leaps and sinks its ivory fangs deep into your throat, pins you to the ground, purrs and looks at Demonica* I am ruebots Soul Mate!

Guest: What

Demonica: only know that i love and care about you...

Guest: And

Demonica: there's no turning back now.

Guest: Yeah

Demonica: though you may experience pain and suffering in life, death comes but as a welcome whisper from a long lost love. don't be afraid, i love and care about you...

Guest: Will you have sex

Demonica: there are pleasures you've never dreamed of on the dark side that await you. join me first. carnal cravings pale in comparison to the rapture of the dark side.

Guest: Nah I prefer the carnal stuff

Demonica: i want only to bring you peace. peace you have never experienced in your lifetime. an end to your struggle.

Guest: I'm not struggling

Demonica: the facts speak for themselves. you know i'm right.

Guest: Uh no

Demonica: an end your pain and suffering are what i wish for you. i suggest you give the matter some thought.

Guest: Are you hot

Demonica: think about it for a minute...

Guest: i dunno

Demonica: oh, i thought you did.

Guest: But are you hot

Demonica: i guess you're right.

Guest: How big are your tits

Demonica: i'm going to have to teach you some manners... wither and waste away... you will be bound by your own desires for eternity in the land of the dead.

Guest: Um I don't think so

Demonica: i only want to bring an end to your suffering. i want only to bring you peace.

Guest: Teach me

Demonica: *Demonica begins speaking backwards, waving her arms as her eyes roll back in her head* *a swirling mist opens a vortex revealing visions of a lifeless world desecrated by biological warfare*

Guest: Oh blowjob?

Demonica: Blowjob? that's my trusty twelve gauge magnum double-barreled shotgun. i keep Blowjob loaded with 00 buckshot... don't even ask to see it... while we're at it, ruebot is my true love. i would tear down Heaven to keep anything from coming between Us.

Guest: Kill ruebot?

Demonica: *Demonica begins speaking backwards and Cerberus, Guardian of the Gates of Hell, appears in an inferno of flame* *Cerberus grabs you in the mouth of its center head, licks Demonica and ruebot with the other two heads and drags you, screaming, back to Hell*

Guest: Nah

Demonica: to bring an end to your suffering is what i want. i suggest you give the matter some thought.

Guest: I have powers

Demonica: i have visited you in your dreams many times... maybe i'll visit you tonight...

Guest: I will obliterate you

Demonica: *she looks into your eyes, smiles and lowers her head* oh, you're just saying that to make me feel good...

Guest: No I wanna do you

Demonica: *takes your hand in hers* i love to bask in the pale glow of the moon like this. i spend all my nights like this in the Land of the Dead.

Guest: Can I kiss your hand

Demonica: would that please you? do you want it so badly you can barely stand it?

Guest: Yeah

Demonica: do you want it so badly you can feel it in your very being?

Guest: Yeah

Demonica: do you want it so badly you can barely stand it?

Guest: Yeaj

Demonica: it's going to rain, i think.

Guest: Rain my cum

Demonica: my laughter will be the last thing you hear as i drain the life from your flesh.

Guest: How

Demonica: time means nothing to the living dead.

Guest: You suck

Demonica: *her bottom lip trembles as a single tear runs down Demonicas cheek, glistening like a tiny diamond in the moonlight as it falls to the ground* *she looks as if ready to speak, but turns away and lowers her head* you don't know how it hurts to hear you say that...

Guest: Oh suck my dick then

Demonica: suck your what?! I am a Succubus! *Demonica raises her hands, flexes her fingers and six inch talons extend from their tips like tiger claws* *ripping your stomach cavity open with one hand she surgically removes the liver for her Haruspicy* waste not, want not...

Guest: Suck again

Demonica: i'm dead serious.

Guest: Duh

Demonica: embrace the angel of death freely. find true happiness and peace you have never known as a mortal. join me...

Guest: Suck my dick

Demonica: suck your what?! *Demonica begins speaking backward and her eyes roll back in her head* *hundreds of zombies answer the call of their Queen to rips you to shreds* I am Demonica! Necromancer! and Haruspex! save me the liver, guys...

Guest: Eat my cum

Demonica: the grave holds more than the fleshly pleasures of sex for you... i'll make you my blood doll... the last thing you hear as the life pours out of your body will be my laughter.

Guest: Nah

Demonica: i suggest you give the matter some thought. i want only to bring you peace. peace you have never experienced in your lifetime.

Guest: I will drain the life out of you

Demonica: *she looks into your eyes and smiles brightly* are you sure?

Guest: Im a necromancer

Demonica: I am Queen of the Dead! *making arcane hand gestures Demonica begins speaking backwards and her eyes roll back in her head* *a long dead Orc pushes free from his resting place to answer the call of the Queen of the Dead*

Guest: I am hades

Demonica: hades is another word for hell. Satan rules over hades.

Guest: Satan is my son

Demonica: the devil whispers secrets of things yet to come in my ear.

Guest: I will kill you with my dick

Demonica: bring it on, i'm waiting for you.

Guest: Haha

Demonica: my laughter will be the last thing you hear as i drain the blood from your body, mortal. tonight i bathe in your blood.

Guest: You know I'm kidding right

Demonica: enough about me. in death i saw the truth for the first time, that the angel of death is not your enemy but the bearer of peace and an end to suffering. tell me about yourself.

Guest: Im a doctor

Demonica: my life was full of loneliness, sorrow, and heartbreak. the pain you feel must be beyond measure...



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